Summer 2013 has officially come to a close.
Can't complain a bit. Twas full and happy. Downright incredible really.
The twins were baptized, I ran my marathon, and that was just June!
Perhaps I should be sad that summer, and all the adventures that come with it, is over.
But first things first. Summer's end means starting a new school year. Again, perhaps there should be a level of remorse to be loosing the relaxed flexible days that accompany summer. But as we started into our old routine again this week, I felt a sense of comforting familiarity. I also had feelings of "kick it into high gear," "back to work," and "focus" too, but lazy isn't really my style anyway. (Unless it has to do with cooking - then I'm all about lazy.)
So how did our first week go? Well . . . . . Shortcake. From the time she was just a baby, she has always been very aware of her surroundings and has been so so eager to be a part of it all. So going into this school year, I thought I was prepared.
On the left are some of the twins new work books and readers K12 sent this year. On the right is a workbook and a few of the other library books I had on hand so that Shortcake had something to keep her busy too.
But as our first day of school progressed, I realized that once again I had underestimated my 2 year old. Each time we would move on to a new subject I would pull out the coordinating new materials. Without even being aware, the twins and I would exhibit a unconscious sense of excitement at having these new things. I mean come on, we stare at these things for nine months straight. Who wouldn't be excited about having something new? Shortcake honed in on this. She too wanted to be excited and partake in all of this. But every time I had two that matched identical and didn't have a third just exactly like it for her . . . . . oh how she would cry. And wail. And cry some more. Good and loud. With a fair amount of physical movement involved. Sigh.
That evening when my love asked how our day was, my label was: "challenging." With feelings of "tiring" and even possibly "exasperating" close behind it.
As I've tried to asses the situation, tried to formulate plans of reaction, I've been trying really hard to keep this focus:
"Mom,
I
bored."
I love schooling my children at home. When I consider other avenues, my heart starts racing at the thought. But no matter how much I love it, my day is still a million tiny choices. A constant balancing act. When I see them struggle with a math problem . . .
- Do I be firm, and stern, and tell them to do what I know they can, not letting them give up just cause it isn't easy?
- Or do I read their eyes, their face, their body, their self doubt, and see that this time they just need a loving hint to keep them going?
I'm coming to realize that Shortcake is no different just because she isn't working a curriculum yet. I must balance my responses. Balance between letting her know that wailing and gnashing of teeth is not an acceptable way to respond to ones feelings, and yet stay mindful and address the "why" behind her emotional protests. She just wants so badly to take part in the world around her. I mustn’t let myself get distracted by her frustrating tantrums. I need to remember that she needs to be loved.
First week of school - complete. As I think of the 40 or so weeks ahead of me I'll admit I have feelings of worry and self doubt. But when I contemplate it one Math or History lesson at a time, I remember how much I enjoy it.
It's almost like riding a bike. A balancing act that you can't even really explain. Dozens of muscles doing just the right thing at just the right time. Quite complicated really, yet you just do it. As long as you keep moving, somehow, you stay upright.
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