There has been a lot of hub bub in social media lately about a group of women who are fighting for women to get the priesthood. It's a very complicated issue that I couldn't even begin to try to explain. Over all the whole thing just makes me really sad. It was all this that sparked my An Aching Thought post.
All I could see was people in favor of the opposition. Every time I turned around I saw another person fighting to convince people that the church is in the wrong. It was really affecting me. I felt so sad and discouraged. It seemed as if no one was "fighting back." No one was defending our beliefs. I prayed about my feelings. I asked that if there was anything I could do, to fight for truth and right, that the Lord might let me know.
A few days later, someone was sharing another blog post. This time it was standing up for what I believe. It wasn't perfect, but overall, it was good and pretty well written. I decided to share it too. And accompany it with saying what I believe.
I got several comments back. One in particular strongly disagreeing with my stance. I then responded strongly back and again defended what I believe.
As I thought about it, I realized that the things I said were my testimony. Having to think about how I feel and put it into words, strengthened it even more. And for that I am very grateful.
I want my children to know what I believe. What I feel in my heart to be true. So I've decided to copy over some of what I wrote:
I am OK with
not holding the priesthood. Really, don't mind a bit. In fact, if it
were offered to women tomorrow, I wouldn't take it. I don't have the
perfect answer as to why this is God's plan. I have tried to reason it
out in my mortal mind in the past. But it's just
my mortal thinking. Not Gods. Really, what it boils down to is that
it's God's prerogative. I trust Him with all my heart. I trust Him to
guide me through life. Even the parts of life that I don't like. The
parts that cause me pain, fear, and sorrow. And any parts that may
appear unfair. I trust Him. Do you?
*****
I
don't believe that God bows to "public pressure." I believe that He is
in charge. Not the opinions of the men He calls to be His labors. I don't believe He "changed His mind." I believe He
had, and still has a plan. (A perfectly well timed plan at that.) It
is His priesthood and it is His prerogative to choose who to give it to
and when. If the Lord would have women hold the priesthood some day,
then so be it. But it will be when it is in accordance with His will
and plan. Not because people are complaining, protesting, and making a
stink about it. To suggest that that is how change in the church is
brought about completely negates the whole point of God's given power!
Priesthood power is not magic to be utilized at the will of a man (or
woman). It is God's power, to be used at God's discretion to bless His
children. Priesthood is not merely handed out to individuals who "meet
the age and gender requirements" to be used whenever they want. It is
given to those who are living their life in such a way that they are
striving to follow Gods commandments and are there by trusted to use
it's power as God directs. If one does not believe that the leaders of
the church have been directed to proceed as they have on this issue,
then they do not believe in them and they do not believe in the power
they profess to use.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Sunday, June 15, 2014
I Hated It
How To Train Your Dragon 2
I hated it and I never want to see it again.
Harsh. Perhaps I should preface it.
I hate movies where people die.
I hate movies where people die because it makes you feel sad.
There are lots of very sad things in life. It is necessary and brings about growth. But sadness by definition is unpleasant and often down right painful.
I will accept the necessary sadness that will cross my roads in this life. (Frankly I have no other choice.)
But I refuse to voluntarily make my self feel sad. ESPECIALLY make my self feel sad about things that aren't even real!
As I watched that scene, I imagined his pain. I put myself in his shoes and thought about how badly I would want to rewind, undo, go back, make it unreal and just a horrible bad dream. But you CAN'T. This is a situational feeling I have yet to actually experience myself in this life. It is a feeling I fear to feel. Like one of those bordering on unhealthy fears. (Heck who's bordering, we'll label it down right unhealthy.)
This would be reason enough for me to dislike this movie, but there's more. As I was feeling unnecessary sadness, crying unnecessary tears, and trying to cope through my fears, my children where sitting right next to me. These little souls who I love beyond words, were also feeling unnecessary sadness and unnecessary tears were streaming down their faces! At that moment I wished I had never brought them. Horrible movie.
I don't care that it had a "happy ending." A "happy ending" doesn't make anyone any less dead.
The unpleasantries of watching this movie didn't end when the movie finally did. No no. As we watched the credits and prepared to leave, I wanted to fall apart. I wanted to have a good cry. I wanted to be alone in my head and attempt to sort and make sense of my feelings and work through my fears. But I'm a mom. Moms don't get to fall apart. Moms are the rocks that little souls look up to in search of safety, comfort and guidance. I had to pretend that yes it was sad, but that it's okay that it was sad. I had to answer their questions and help them label and sort their own feelings. I had suppress my own feelings of sorrow and be positive. I had to try to help them see why people (unlike myself) would like this movie, by asking them which other parts of the movie were really good.
We were ALL so excited to see this movie. This was supposed to be a special reward for all their hard work in finishing school. It was supposed to be fun and awesome. But instead we all went home solemn.
If I had my way, I would label the whole experience as unfortunate and do my best to forget about it. But we're the Staleys. The family of 3 little princesses that love to play dragons. The family that spent WAY too much time (& money) on making the coolest ever dragon and viking costumes. The family that has a little girl who sleeps on a dragon pillow case every night. These stupid dragons aren't going away. I don't get to just forget about them and the sorrow that I now associate with their story.
At bedtime, I had to read their "How To Train Your Dragon" book to them! Despite their tears earlier that evening, that's what book they requested. I have to pretend that it's fine and no big deal. In days to come, my children will request to watch old dragon episodes. We will see that beloved character and be reminded of sadness now associated with him. Ugh!
I have issues.
I don't like the movie. I don't want to see it again. But I'm kind of doubting I'll be able to pull that off.
I hated it and I never want to see it again.
Harsh. Perhaps I should preface it.
I hate movies where people die.
I hate movies where people die because it makes you feel sad.
There are lots of very sad things in life. It is necessary and brings about growth. But sadness by definition is unpleasant and often down right painful.
I will accept the necessary sadness that will cross my roads in this life. (Frankly I have no other choice.)
But I refuse to voluntarily make my self feel sad. ESPECIALLY make my self feel sad about things that aren't even real!
As I watched that scene, I imagined his pain. I put myself in his shoes and thought about how badly I would want to rewind, undo, go back, make it unreal and just a horrible bad dream. But you CAN'T. This is a situational feeling I have yet to actually experience myself in this life. It is a feeling I fear to feel. Like one of those bordering on unhealthy fears. (Heck who's bordering, we'll label it down right unhealthy.)
This would be reason enough for me to dislike this movie, but there's more. As I was feeling unnecessary sadness, crying unnecessary tears, and trying to cope through my fears, my children where sitting right next to me. These little souls who I love beyond words, were also feeling unnecessary sadness and unnecessary tears were streaming down their faces! At that moment I wished I had never brought them. Horrible movie.
I don't care that it had a "happy ending." A "happy ending" doesn't make anyone any less dead.
The unpleasantries of watching this movie didn't end when the movie finally did. No no. As we watched the credits and prepared to leave, I wanted to fall apart. I wanted to have a good cry. I wanted to be alone in my head and attempt to sort and make sense of my feelings and work through my fears. But I'm a mom. Moms don't get to fall apart. Moms are the rocks that little souls look up to in search of safety, comfort and guidance. I had to pretend that yes it was sad, but that it's okay that it was sad. I had to answer their questions and help them label and sort their own feelings. I had suppress my own feelings of sorrow and be positive. I had to try to help them see why people (unlike myself) would like this movie, by asking them which other parts of the movie were really good.
We were ALL so excited to see this movie. This was supposed to be a special reward for all their hard work in finishing school. It was supposed to be fun and awesome. But instead we all went home solemn.
If I had my way, I would label the whole experience as unfortunate and do my best to forget about it. But we're the Staleys. The family of 3 little princesses that love to play dragons. The family that spent WAY too much time (& money) on making the coolest ever dragon and viking costumes. The family that has a little girl who sleeps on a dragon pillow case every night. These stupid dragons aren't going away. I don't get to just forget about them and the sorrow that I now associate with their story.
At bedtime, I had to read their "How To Train Your Dragon" book to them! Despite their tears earlier that evening, that's what book they requested. I have to pretend that it's fine and no big deal. In days to come, my children will request to watch old dragon episodes. We will see that beloved character and be reminded of sadness now associated with him. Ugh!
I have issues.
I don't like the movie. I don't want to see it again. But I'm kind of doubting I'll be able to pull that off.
An Aching Thought
I have not "Blogged" in a while. Sure I've posted. Posted memories I don't want to forget mostly. But not blogged thoughts. Perhaps I've been too busy to "think" . . . . . hmm, that's a "thought" in and of itself. Clearly I'm feeling thoughtful now. :)
Anyway, I think most can relate to, at some time or another, feeling sad. Specificly feeling sad because of sad things that are happening in this world. This world. This world our home. I know people, (and I'm often one of them) that don't watch the news because it is just too depressing. (One could have a lengthy debate on the merit of this practice, but not today.)
So I was feeling sad. Trying to sort my thoughts and find peace. A quote came to mind, and camped out for a while.
I found the quote, but wanted to authenticate it. A challenge, that come to find out I am not alone in. I found a blog of a lady who attended a "Time Out For Women" event where John Bytheway was speaking. She said that in one of his talks, he shared that he too, was in search of authenticating this exact same quote. This quote is from Jeffrey R. Holland. He said that when his search was fruitless (as was mine) he went straight to the horses mouth. Well, to the horse's secretary rather. But much to his surprise Elder Holland did eventually get back with John and confirmed the quote! - Anyway, I just thought that was an interesting side story.
So now curiosity is peeked, what's the quote right?
I think the reason I kept thinking back on this quote was because of the part about "the final outcome between good and evil".
Oh how I want to cry when I think of the "battle" that is raging. The "war zone" that we are literally living in. The casualties. And not just the casualties of life (though there are plenty of those) but the casualties of hearts. Hopes, dreams, loves, peace, and souls. All trodden by the rage of a war, a war between good and evil. But yet the sun rises and the sun sets. "War" or no, we all are expected to function and "carry on" with daily life. But there is so much I wish I could just "fix," "make better," "heal."
Usually, the simplicity of everyday mundane life, and it's simple "adventures", brings me great joy. Enough joy to overshadow sorrows. But for one reason or another, my heart just aches a little.
There is a popular saying that I'm trying to remember:
Anyway, I think most can relate to, at some time or another, feeling sad. Specificly feeling sad because of sad things that are happening in this world. This world. This world our home. I know people, (and I'm often one of them) that don't watch the news because it is just too depressing. (One could have a lengthy debate on the merit of this practice, but not today.)
So I was feeling sad. Trying to sort my thoughts and find peace. A quote came to mind, and camped out for a while.
I found the quote, but wanted to authenticate it. A challenge, that come to find out I am not alone in. I found a blog of a lady who attended a "Time Out For Women" event where John Bytheway was speaking. She said that in one of his talks, he shared that he too, was in search of authenticating this exact same quote. This quote is from Jeffrey R. Holland. He said that when his search was fruitless (as was mine) he went straight to the horses mouth. Well, to the horse's secretary rather. But much to his surprise Elder Holland did eventually get back with John and confirmed the quote! - Anyway, I just thought that was an interesting side story.
So now curiosity is peeked, what's the quote right?
I think the reason I kept thinking back on this quote was because of the part about "the final outcome between good and evil".
Oh how I want to cry when I think of the "battle" that is raging. The "war zone" that we are literally living in. The casualties. And not just the casualties of life (though there are plenty of those) but the casualties of hearts. Hopes, dreams, loves, peace, and souls. All trodden by the rage of a war, a war between good and evil. But yet the sun rises and the sun sets. "War" or no, we all are expected to function and "carry on" with daily life. But there is so much I wish I could just "fix," "make better," "heal."
Usually, the simplicity of everyday mundane life, and it's simple "adventures", brings me great joy. Enough joy to overshadow sorrows. But for one reason or another, my heart just aches a little.
There is a popular saying that I'm trying to remember:
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
California 2014
I was born in California. My dad was raised there. When I was 8 years old, we left Grandma & Grandpa, aunts and uncles and cousins, palm trees, and traffic jams and moved to snow and potatoes in a small town in Idaho. It is that small town that I affectionately call my "home." But I love my natural "California Girl" blond highlights.
My grandpa recently turned 80 so we all got our ducks in a row and made preparations to visit the golden state in honor of this momentous mile stone. This is an adventure we only do every several years. So we filled every single day not wanting to waste a minute of it. But we've got 20+ relatives currently living there and another 16 of us traveled down. That's a lot of people to juggle and coordinate. But we all did the best we could and I think overall, it was a successful adventure.
Remember those 16 people, add 2 more (Grandma & Grandpa) and shove them all in 1 elevator. :) Sounds like fun to me.
I know I am TOTALLY biased, but it's not the lit up jelly fish that make this picture pretty, it's the heads of the 3 little people that mean the world to me.
Don't get me wrong, it was a really nice aquarium. BUT, I felt like it didn't take us all that long to see what there was to see. And I felt that the price we paid for admission should have equated to at least a 1/2 a day of entertainment. (translation: I'm not sure it was worth the money.)
Since the aquarium didn't take us as long as we thought it would, we hung out and killed a little time. It really was just great to have us all in one place. A rare blessing.
Lost count of how many billboards we saw for this movie. (They're a little excited.)
A "must see" stop for my family usually. The most amazing restaurant bar none. But . . . not gonna lie. Not a cheap endeavor. We'll see how I feel about it a couple years from now.
Love my sisters! So grateful to have them as my friends. It was just the 3 of us during this little adventure. They were such good sports. I felt so bad waking them up before the sun. But it ended up being so much fun. Great memory. (We look so clean in this picture.)
Time to clean up. (This is how they were doing it at the race.) (Yes that's a leaf blower.)
You can't have a gathering of 40+ family members and pass up the opportunity for pictures.
My grandparents with 10 out of 15 grandkids.
My grandparents with grandkids and great-grandkids.
My dad and his siblings.
The WHOLE party! (Grandpa appears to be kind of a popular fellow.)
Finally, pictures are done and it's time for cake! Isn't that just a great picture of my Grandpa?
Playing at the beach was one of our favorite parts of visiting California. BUT, I threw up the night before and again that morning before we left. So needless to say, my picture taking efforts were at a minimum. I did manage a couple though.
Normally I love a good wave jumping session! But all I was up for, was some quality time with a princess beach towel. But thanks to my brothers wife, my kiddos were still able to have a blast.
The zoo ended up being a great attraction for all ages. (We had ages 0-80 you know.)
Worth every penny of the $10 rental fee. Helped keep the kids from getting worn out and over tired.
The play ground alone was reason enough to come back to this zoo again some day!
A few of us dragged our weary bodies out of bed in the wee morning hours and made an early morning temple trip. It was so so nice.
One of my cousins has 3 little girls too. (And yes, my grandparents have a little palm tree in their front yard.)
Shortcake playing with Great-Grandma. (Grandma would pretend to be asleep and the little train would come "wake her up.")
My girls had really wanted to go swimming. But all the spray parks were closed due to a drought and none of the swimming pools were open till the last day of school, (some time later in June.) So we found this interesting little place to spend the day.
"Fairyland" (As in fairytale.) It opened back in 1950, and you could tell. But overall, it wasn't so bad. The kids enjoyed it.
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My nephew didn't appreciate the kiddie ferris wheel.
Jack & Jill's hill.
(We're riding in a train.)
(The train went through a western town.)
Captain Hooks pirate ship.
And a puppet show.
On the way home from Fairyland, we stopped at the temple again so the kids could see the temple.
My dad proposed to my mom here over 30 years ago.
One of the cool things about this temple is that you can actually walk up on top of it. This picture was taken up on top.
We visited one of my favorite parks from my childhood. The kids loved it.
(Yep she's "driving" the plane. Complete with sound effects and imaginary steering wheel steering.)
My little nephew's face: "These people are kind of odd."
Eventually it was time to say goodbye.
Our trip there took us 17 hours!! So on the way home we decided to take our time a little bit more and did it in 2 days. On the way we stopped to get one last look at the beautiful ocean.
A bed never felt so comfy!
I'm grateful I get to see my family as much as I do. Every minute is a gift.
My grandpa recently turned 80 so we all got our ducks in a row and made preparations to visit the golden state in honor of this momentous mile stone. This is an adventure we only do every several years. So we filled every single day not wanting to waste a minute of it. But we've got 20+ relatives currently living there and another 16 of us traveled down. That's a lot of people to juggle and coordinate. But we all did the best we could and I think overall, it was a successful adventure.
Remember those 16 people, add 2 more (Grandma & Grandpa) and shove them all in 1 elevator. :) Sounds like fun to me.
I know I am TOTALLY biased, but it's not the lit up jelly fish that make this picture pretty, it's the heads of the 3 little people that mean the world to me.
Since the aquarium didn't take us as long as we thought it would, we hung out and killed a little time. It really was just great to have us all in one place. A rare blessing.
Yes, these stairs actually played music.
Lost count of how many billboards we saw for this movie. (They're a little excited.)
A "must see" stop for my family usually. The most amazing restaurant bar none. But . . . not gonna lie. Not a cheap endeavor. We'll see how I feel about it a couple years from now.
Love my sisters! So grateful to have them as my friends. It was just the 3 of us during this little adventure. They were such good sports. I felt so bad waking them up before the sun. But it ended up being so much fun. Great memory. (We look so clean in this picture.)
(Had to protect my watch.)
Not so dirty right?
Our tatoos!
But there was this after party . . . .
And this is why I saran wrapped my watch.
Time to clean up. (This is how they were doing it at the race.) (Yes that's a leaf blower.)
You can't have a gathering of 40+ family members and pass up the opportunity for pictures.
My grandparents with 10 out of 15 grandkids.
My grandparents with grandkids and great-grandkids.
My dad and his siblings.
The WHOLE party! (Grandpa appears to be kind of a popular fellow.)
Finally, pictures are done and it's time for cake! Isn't that just a great picture of my Grandpa?
Playing at the beach was one of our favorite parts of visiting California. BUT, I threw up the night before and again that morning before we left. So needless to say, my picture taking efforts were at a minimum. I did manage a couple though.
Normally I love a good wave jumping session! But all I was up for, was some quality time with a princess beach towel. But thanks to my brothers wife, my kiddos were still able to have a blast.
The zoo ended up being a great attraction for all ages. (We had ages 0-80 you know.)
Worth every penny of the $10 rental fee. Helped keep the kids from getting worn out and over tired.
The play ground alone was reason enough to come back to this zoo again some day!
A few of us dragged our weary bodies out of bed in the wee morning hours and made an early morning temple trip. It was so so nice.
One of my cousins has 3 little girls too. (And yes, my grandparents have a little palm tree in their front yard.)
Shortcake playing with Great-Grandma. (Grandma would pretend to be asleep and the little train would come "wake her up.")
My girls had really wanted to go swimming. But all the spray parks were closed due to a drought and none of the swimming pools were open till the last day of school, (some time later in June.) So we found this interesting little place to spend the day.
"Fairyland" (As in fairytale.) It opened back in 1950, and you could tell. But overall, it wasn't so bad. The kids enjoyed it.
My nephew didn't appreciate the kiddie ferris wheel.
Jack & Jill's hill.
(We're riding in a train.)
Alice In Wonderland's card maze.
The Emerald City
Captain Hooks pirate ship.
On the way home from Fairyland, we stopped at the temple again so the kids could see the temple.
My dad proposed to my mom here over 30 years ago.
The temple is almost 50 years old. So they were in the middle of some construction. That large dark gray place in the middle is going to be a waterfall.
One of the cool things about this temple is that you can actually walk up on top of it. This picture was taken up on top.
We visited one of my favorite parks from my childhood. The kids loved it.
(Yep she's "driving" the plane. Complete with sound effects and imaginary steering wheel steering.)
My little nephew's face: "These people are kind of odd."
Eventually it was time to say goodbye.
Our trip there took us 17 hours!! So on the way home we decided to take our time a little bit more and did it in 2 days. On the way we stopped to get one last look at the beautiful ocean.
A bed never felt so comfy!
I'm grateful I get to see my family as much as I do. Every minute is a gift.
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