She Called Me "Mom"

Growing up I had more than one Grandma.  I had more than one Aunt.  I don't think there is anything wrong with a child having more than one person who has been "mom" to them.

We had a starfish recently who was only with us for a day.  While she was here, when she needed something, she addressed me as "Mom."

I didn't correct her.  

I didn't say, "No, I'm not your mom."

Because in her short turbulant life she had learned what a "mom" truely is.  

She had learned that "mom" is who you go to when you are in need.  

She had learned that "mom" is the person who takes care of you. (& takes care of all the other little people running around)

I don't know that she was old enough to observe this next one herself, but I would add:

"Mom" is the one who sacrifices and puts you before herself.

Birth moms are "moms"

They sacrifice their bodies, their phsical comfort, their 'pre-baby body', so that another human being can have a chance at life and all the joy/pain, fun/suffering, love/loss that comes with that chance.  

A biological mom who's children are in foster care is still "mom."

She in a position where she can not meet her child's needs, so she must put aside the needs of her own heart, and share her child with someone else untill she can do it herself.

Foster moms are "moms".  When a child in their care has a need, they are the ones who have to look past bad behaviors and tantrums to figure out what that need is.  Then they must find a way to fulfill that need despite busy schedules and tight budgets.  

Then the burden is on their shoulders to help that child learn appropriate ways to express their needs.  

As I have thought about the deffinition of a "mom," I can't help but think about people who have been my "mom."  My mom lives hundreds of miles away.  So when I have a need, more often than not, I must go to others.  Others who sacrifice their time to take care of me - and be my "mom."

Isn't that what life here on earth is all about?  Taking care of each other.  Doing as our Heavenly Parents would do.  

I'm grateful I get to be a "mom" in the traditional sense.  But I'm also gratefult that I also get to be in the position to be "mom" for so many others.  

God Whispered a Different Point of View

We have a foster kid just for the weekend.  These two sweet girls had a wonderful summer day.  Full of toys, trampolines, and dress up.  Then when it was time to get ready for bed, they were thrilled to realize that Shortcake had pajamas that matched her new friend!  Fun for any set of 8 year old girls right?  But it means oh so much more to my Shortcake.

In a family with 3 kids, but two of them twins, she often feels like 'the odd man out.'  She constantly watches two-peas-in-a-pod do everything together, while she desperately tries to be a part of it.  She sheds tears on the matter from time to time and complains about it often.

As I took this picture, I started to dread the many conversations that will undoubtedly ensue when this weekend comes to an end.  Conversations where she will repeatedly express the injustice of the situation.  Conversations where I'm supposed to be the wise voice of reason and teach her life lessons.  Life lessons about how life doesn't get to be exactly like we think it should be.  Lesson about why that's okay, and why it can be a good thing.  Conversations where I will tell her that God has a plan for our family.  When really, inside I'm saying, "Yes!  I agree!  I want you to have more siblings!  That was the plan.  I don't understand why you don't."

As I blew up an air mattress so that these two could sleep in the same room and chatter away as they fell asleep (cause that's what Shortcake listens to her big sisters do) I started to feel sorry for her.  Sorry that she doesn't have siblings to be young with.  (14 year olds don't play with Polly Pockets or wear feather boas.)  And I'll own it - I was feeling sorry for myself as well.  But then God whispered a different point of view.

Because we do foster care, Shortcake gets to interact with lots of siblings.
Because we do foster care, Shortcake will have more experience and better understanding of people who come from different backgrounds than her.
Because she doesn't have her own close sibling, she must reach out, interact, and be a sibling/friend to others who need her strength and character.

I am grateful that our home can have an open door and be a helpful, safe, and fun place for so many different children.
I try to imagine what our life would be like if things had turned out more like I had planned . . . .
So boring.
So standard.
The life we have is so crazy and unique.
The life we have feels so right.

Life Has Gaps

Yes.  There is a gap.  A big gap.  Oh how much life has happened since.  But that's just it - life happened.   And sometimes in life - somethings gotta give.

So what gave?   My blog. 

I love my life.  My life is full.  No, let me say that again, my life is FULL. 
Full of running on my Ferrari treadmill at 5am before the sun (or the rest of my family) rises.
Full of home-school.
Full of middle schoolers learning how to juggle their own full lives. 
Full of doctors/orthodontist/optometrists.
Full of childrens theater.
Full of gymnastics.
Full of meal planning/grocery shopping/cooking/cleaning.
Full of laundry.
Full of foster care. (Which includes social workers, court dates, & trainings.)
Full of friends.
Full of studying sign language.
Full of studying Japaneses. (So that I can connect with my husband.)
Full of preparing/teaching Sunday school lessons.

FULL. 

We are given 24 hours ever day.  I know I do not always use it wisely.  But I try. 

Writing my thoughts and sending them out into the universe has been buried for a while.  But just because you stop doing something, is no reason to never do it again.  I enjoy writing.  And I dare say, it is probably a little therapeutic to me. . . . if I write down my important thoughts, my brain doesn't work so hard to remember it. 

So here's to writing down my thoughts.  Again.  Until the next gap.  Cause that's life.  Life has gaps.