Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Poem

Last week in church a new family spoke.  The father shared this poem and I just loved it, so I thought I'd put it out there too. 
(Just to reiterate - I did NOT write this poem.  Just sharing it.)

The Race

    attributed to Dr. D.H. "Dee" Groberg
Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
    my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
    excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
    or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
    and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
    to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
    was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
    the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
    and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
    Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
    which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
    and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
    his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
    “I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
    with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
    “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
    but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
    “There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
    But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
    for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
    You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
    and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
    still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
    Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
    head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
    the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
    you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
    “To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”
And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
    the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
    And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
    another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

What did I learn???

As I read over my post about running my first marathon, I felt like it was missing something.

Normally I consider myself a pretty spiritually minded person.  God is part of my life 7 days a week.  Not just on Sundays.  How could I do something as huge and major and significant as running a marathon, and not have learned something more profound than "wear a hat" or "GU's not so bad"?  How could I not have some example of how Gods hand was in my life?  What did I gain from this amazing experience other than bragging rights and a grin on my face?

I thought about this for a time.  Did a little soul searching if you will.  
What did I learn?  What did God teach me?

A pretty significant aspect of this adventure for me, was the night before.

I couldn't sleep.
Call me crazy and inexperienced, but I, with my minimal knowledge of the human body, assumed that a good nights sleep would be part of the equation for running a marathon.

I thought the more sleep I got, the more successful I would be.  So as the seconds, minutes, and eventually hours passed, I became more and more distressed (compounding the problem) cause I thought my success the next day was slipping away with each passing minute.  

I knew that the Lord could help me to go to sleep.  I had full faith that He could put me into a coma if that's what He felt was needful.  So after thanking Him for the blessing of being healthy enough to run, and asking Him to bless others who also might be having a sleepless night.  I asked that if it was His will, would He please help me to go to sleep. 

Sleep didn't come.  I did not get the 6, 5, or even 4 hours of sleep I thought I so desperately needed.  I got 1.

When all was said and done, I was not left doubting God's ability to help me to sleep, I felt He had chosen not to.   And if I am 100% honest with myself, I think it's safe to say I resented it just a bit.  Hence I didn't mention Him much in my original posting.

So as I went about this soul searching I was thinking "Why didn't He help me sleep when I knew He could have?  Surly there must be a reason.  Surly there must be some lesson to be learned from all this."

Here's what I've come up with:

I thought I knew what I needed.  I was so sure that I REALLY needed sleep to be able to do this.

My Heavnly Father was up above, smiling, sighing, and lovingly shaking His head.  No one knows the anatomy of the human body better than Him.  He knew I didn't "need" that sleep.  He knew I could do it, and not only that, but do it well.


So much of this life we think we know what's best.  We think we know everything.  We think we know exactly what we need to be "successful" or "happy."   But our Father in Heaven has complete faith in our abilities.  He has a plan an He knows exactly what we do or do not "need" to carry out His plan. 

What we THINK we "need," is often different from what God KNOWS we "need".  

What we "need" to do is TRUST Him. 

Saturday, June 22, 2013

MARATHON!!!!!

Running a marathon meant SO MUCH to me that I don't want to skimp on my memories.

Making your legs move back and forth for 26 miles is not what makes a marathon amazing.  It's the 115 times I woke up at 5:00am.  It's the 957 miles I ran in preparation for the 26. 

Although, 26 miles isn't shabby in and of itself.  Just to help create a mental picture, the distance from the Poulsbo Post Office all the way to the Ship Yard is 26 miles.  Or, from Blackfoot to Idaho Falls, that's 26 miles.  Or from the Dworshak Dam to Lenore. 

I've been working toward this goal for a long time and the closer I got, the more excited and down right ridiculously giddy I got.  (I realize that it is highly probably that several people got sick of hearing about it.)  I was so excited in fact, that going to sleep the night before was impossible.  Literally.  My heart rate was no where near "at rest" and I could just feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins.  Despite all my efforts and attempts to induce sleep, it got later and later and later.  I had to get up at 4:00 to catch the ferry.  I finally fell asleep at 2:00 but woke up at 3:00.  By this point I was in tears.  I had been working SO HARD for SO LONG.  I was imagining myself slowly and sluggishly dragging myself across the finish line long after the 5 hour mark.  The thought of performing anything less than my best, just devastated me.  My sweet love did his best to encourage and console me and as I left the house I decided that even if I had to crawl across that finish line, I was going to do this. 

Lucky for me I met up with some friends on the ferry.  They are more experienced runners than I and assured me that my plight was a very common one.  And apparently it's the night before the night before that really counts.  In all my marathon preparation reading, I had not yet heard this.  But I decided to trust them and did my best to put a smile on my face.


 

This is a shot of the crowd behind me.  This is just a fraction of the racers!  I can never get over just how many people are as crazy as me!

I spent most of the first 1/3 of my marathon "pacing myself" or telling myself to slow down.  Trying to save my strength.  As far as weather was concerned, it was a great temperature and there was lots of shade.  I was averaging 10 min miles.  Right on track.

One of the parts of the race that I was looking forward to was the split.



When I ran my first 1/2 last year and I got to this point, I was SO GLAD I wasn't going right.  But this time around, I was awfully excited to be one of the ones going right!

However, stopping for 2 seconds to take this picture shook things up for me just a bit.  When I took my cell phone out of my pouch, my bag of PowerBarFruitSnacks fell out.  I noticed fairly soon after I started running again.  I had to make a split second decision.  Do I back track to get my fuel, or keep going?  But 1/2 the challenge of a marathon is making your resources last the full 26 miles.  I needed those!  So I ran back and picked the bag up off the ground and tried to pick up the pace a little bit to compensate for my hiccup. 

Just after mile 10 they were handing out GU.  A very popular flavored energy gel.  I have never tried the stuff cause I once had a friend tell me their digestive system hadn't exactly appreciated the gesture.  But as I approached the hand out, I thought to myself, "1 hour sleep. . . . ya, I'm gonna give this a shot."  They handed me an orange flavored one.  Not what I would label as "delicious" but it wasn't bad at all.  Good tasting even.  I squirted a little bit on my tongue every once in a while over the course of the next 3 miles. 

Most of the course from here on out had significantly less shade.  Last minute I had bought myself a cheap hat.  I was SO glad I did. 

It was at this point in the race that I began to slow down.  I knew I still had a lot of miles ahead of me and the sun beating down was making me feel tired.  I just couldn't keep up my 10 min mile pace anymore.  My goal of 4 hours and 37 mins slipped further and further away 1 min at a time.  But I kept moving, slow or not and resigned myself to a new goal of anything under 5 hours.

As I was approaching mile 20, I realized that I had stared to resume my 10 min mile pace.  I realized finishing near my goal was still a possibility.  So I picked up the pace.  The closer I got to the finish line, the faster I got.  There were a few hills near the end and much to my surprise I was able scale them without slowing too much and I zipped right up the last one. 

The last mile my calves started to feel like they wanted to cramp up and my feet were hurting, but I was still able to finish strong and fast.



(I still can't believe I did it!)

My awesome mom had been following my progress via automatic text messages the whole way.  She immediately texted me my finishing time.  I teared up and couldn't believe it!!!  4 hours 35 min.  2 mins less than my goal!!!!!!!!!! 


And to make it even better, some of my friends who did the 1/2, had waited around an extra 2+ hours, just to greet me at the finish line!  How awesome is that?  They were so excited for me.  It was so great to have someone to share that moment with other than just congratulate me, myself, and I. 




I have not always been athleticly inclined.  As a teen, there were many things I chose not to do because I stereotyped myself as "slow and chubby."  I was NOT nominated "most likely to run a marathon."  I couldn't even run a mile!
Yet here I sit.  :)
Moral of the story.  Don't tell yourself what you "CAN'T" do.
I wasn't one of the lucky ones born with athletic abilities in my back pocket.
I achieved this goal 1/4 of a mile at a time. 

(And I'm awfully happy about it.)

BONUS PICTURE:
 
 All the runners were given one of these. 


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Starting Off Summer Pictures

The weekend of the twins baptism was wonderful and full of great memories.
How could I not include such blessings in my memories of 2013? 




 
 



















THANK YOU to all our family that traveled so far and work so hard to make everything wonderful.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Antropolis, Bon Fire, Dutch Oven, S'mores, and an Aching Heart

I want to remember days like yesterday.

We discovered a massive ant colony in our back yard.  We've had a big pile of broken branches since we moved in.  This 4th of July weekend we were finally going to clear it away and put in a fire pit like we've been dreaming.  Well thanks to these big ants turning the yard debris pile into a bustling Antropolis, the project got bumped up to the top of the to-do-right-now list. 

Like REALLY, it was bad.  Not just a casual, "Gosh every piece of wood has 4 or 5 ants on it."  No, like gross massive area dense with ant bodies crawling all over each other.  And the few that strayed from the pile were aggressive and bit. 

At first the blaze was really strong and intimidating as we tried to keep things safe.  But after the initial torching it became VERY slow going.  Needless to say we were in our back yard ALL afternoon and straight on through till we ran out of daylight. 

But you know, as unwelcome as this ant problem was, it really made for a wonderful evening.  My love worked hard to keep the flame going and I went back and forth between helping him and getting some more things planted in our garden.  The girls just played and played and played and played some more.  I loved it. 

Watching them play made me so happy.  I loved how they were enjoying just being outside and just being together.  I loved how the twins were treating shortcake.   She wasn't a pesky toddler that had to be tolerated.  She was an equal, a friend.  I loved watching them bond and make memories.

Since we had hot coals and had to stay outside anyway, we decided to have another go at our dutch oven we're learning to use.  Turned out pretty darn tasty.  It was such a lovely evening that we set up dinner outside.  We've never done that before. 



Normally, an afternoon in my back yard makes me one happy girl.  But this time . . . . . I'll admit a part of me was sad.  I was thinking of how nice it would have been to have our parents there with us.  :(  I imagined them sitting in the shade enjoying watching the girls play.  I imagined them enjoying having dutch oven dinner  with us.  I miss them.  We got pretty darn spoiled last weekend having both our parents here. 

Then as if this day wasn't great enough, we put that fire to good use and made s'mores!!! 
 


With full tummies it was back to work and play till the sun went down.


 
Couldn't begin to put a price on days like these.  They make me so happy.  I treasure them and my heart overflows with gratitude for every day I'm given.  But . . . as I said, this evening I found my mind on loved ones far away.  I found myself wondering how could being outside always bring me such joy, when  people who are so dear to my heart, don't get to be a part of it.  :(

For some reason it is part of life's equation and therefore part of God's plan.  

Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Step To Heaven

 
A lot of what fills my days, has very little effect on the grand scheme of the universe.  But yesterday was unarguably, significant and important.  2 little souls, who are precious in the sight of God, were given the precious gift of taking the first step towards heaven.  Definitely important.  If I ever write anything in my life, surely it should be of the events of this day.

A Mama's Memory:
One day when the twins were just babies, I was listening to some church music.  As I held them in my arms it hit me, these 2 little souls knew nothing of Joseph Smith and the gospel he restored.  They knew nothing of the saving grace and peace that the gospel brings.  I began to realize my new responsibility as a parent.  The direction of their life was in our hands.  We could choose to incorporate the gospel in their lives, or, totally omit it and build their little world without it.  As their parent it was my God given responsibility to choose which of life’s stepping stones I would place before them.  I never doubted which path we would do our best to send them down, but the fact that I had the power to affect the destiny of a soul so much was very humbling.   

There will come a day when I no longer have such influence over which stepping stones my girls choose to step on.  I know that gradually, life's choices will become more and more their own.  All I can do is do my best to give them the tools and foundation that they will need so badly, and start them off headed in the right direction.  

Yesterday was one of life's stepping stones for my girls.  I'm overjoyed to say that it could not have possibly gone better.  Everything was wonderful and beautiful.  It was less than 24 hours ago and already it seems like such a distant memory slipping away from me.

We all put so much planning, work, effort, time, and preparation into those 2 little hours.  Coordinating schedules, meal planning, sewing, talk preparation, if the hours could possibly be calculated it would be daunting.  But all that time and love made the day just wonderful.

I love my girls.  I'm so grateful for the gift of being chosen to be the earthly mother for some of Gods precious spirit children.  I'm so grateful for every day that I get to spend with them.

I am so grateful for the parents that my love and I were blessed with.  Yesterday was a day full of love and celebration that we were all able to enjoy and share together.  I can't tell you how much that means to me.  Both of our parents are such a support, and they give their all to their grandkids. 

I am filled with happiness, hope, and gratitude.  Life's stepping stones that lie ahead of us usually can't been seen, but I'm grateful for the one we're standing on right now. 





 










Sunday, June 2, 2013

When I Am Baptized

If I could pick any calling I wanted, the one I have is the one I would pick. 

Very happy with how my visual aids turned out this time around. 
Which is good, cause I've been feeling unimpressed with myself the last couple of songs I've taught.


If you'd like the files to make one of your own, leave a comment and I'd be happy to e-mail it to ya!