I Hated It

How To Train Your Dragon 2

I hated it and I never want to see it again.

Harsh.  Perhaps I should preface it. 

I hate movies where people die.
I hate movies where people die because it makes you feel sad.
There are lots of very sad things in life.  It is necessary and brings about growth.  But sadness by definition is unpleasant and often down right painful. 
I will accept the necessary sadness that will cross my roads in this life.  (Frankly I have no other choice.)
But I refuse to voluntarily make my self feel sad.  ESPECIALLY make my self feel sad about things that aren't even real! 

As I watched that scene, I imagined his pain.  I put myself in his shoes and thought about how badly I would want to rewind, undo, go back, make it unreal and just a horrible bad dream.  But you CAN'T.  This is a situational feeling I have yet to actually experience myself in this life.  It is a feeling  I fear to feel.  Like one of those bordering on unhealthy fears.  (Heck who's bordering, we'll label it down right unhealthy.)

This would be reason enough for me to dislike this movie, but there's more.  As I was feeling unnecessary sadness, crying unnecessary tears, and trying to cope through my fears, my children where sitting right next to me.  These little souls who I love beyond words, were also feeling unnecessary sadness and unnecessary tears were streaming down their faces!  At that moment I wished I had never brought them.  Horrible movie. 

I don't care that it had a "happy ending."  A "happy ending" doesn't make anyone any less dead.

The unpleasantries of watching this movie didn't end when the movie finally did.  No no.  As we watched the credits and prepared to leave, I wanted to fall apart.  I wanted to have a good cry.  I wanted to be alone in my head and attempt to sort and make sense of my feelings and work through my fears.  But I'm a mom.  Moms don't get to fall apart.  Moms are the rocks that little souls look up to in search of safety, comfort and guidance.  I had to pretend that yes it was sad, but that it's okay that it was sad.  I had to answer their questions and help them label and sort their own feelings.  I had suppress my own feelings of sorrow and be positive.  I had to try to help them see why people (unlike myself) would like this movie, by asking them which other parts of the movie were really good. 

We were ALL so excited to see this movie.  This was supposed to be a special reward for all their hard work in finishing school.  It was supposed to be fun and awesome.  But instead we all went home solemn. 

If I had my way, I would label the whole experience as unfortunate and do my best to forget about it.  But we're the Staleys.  The family of 3 little princesses that love to play dragons.  The family that spent WAY too much time (& money) on making the coolest ever dragon and viking costumes.  The family that has a little girl who sleeps on a dragon pillow case every night.  These stupid dragons aren't going away.  I don't get to just forget about them and the sorrow that I now associate with their story. 

At bedtime, I had to read their "How To Train Your Dragon" book to them!  Despite their tears earlier that evening, that's what book they requested.  I have to pretend that it's fine and no big deal.  In days to come, my children will request to watch old dragon episodes.  We will see that beloved character and be reminded of sadness now associated with him.  Ugh! 

I have issues. 

I don't like the movie.  I don't want to see it again.  But I'm kind of doubting I'll be able to pull that off.