A Swimming Post, That's Not Really About Swimming

I've been learning to swim.

For about 5 months now, I've been going to the swimming pool 1 night a week with my friends.

Oh the progress I've made!!!!!
(I could compile a list, of all the specific little "swimming" things I couldn't do when we started.  Little victories, that I've worked so hard to achieve.)

But swimming isn't really what this post is about.


I was a few minutes late this week.  Cause on my way out the door, I had a hard mom moment.

One of those moments when you have to be the strong unwavering one for your child.  -  While on the inside you feel like falling apart yourself.
(These "hard mom moments" have been a daily occurrence the past few months.)

So by the time I got to the pool, my emotional strength was wavering.  But I cope with stress by exercising, so I was very much looking forward to swimming my stress energy away.

But not even 5 min after getting into the pool, I lost my nose plug.

I could now do nothing.

Everything I have spent the last 5 months fighting to learn - I could now do NONE of it. 

I could have just called it a day.  Could have just gotten out of the pool and bought a new nose plug next week. 

But I'd only been there 5 min!  The drive, the swim suit, the chilly water - all that for only  5 min - no way!

So I begrudgingly decided to use this "opportunity" to work on learning how to put my head under the water without a nose plug. 

Blah!  It was so hard and frustrating!  And down right unpleasant. (My nose still burns slightly.)

In between every couple of tries, I would stop and just hang on the edge of the pool.  Resisting the urge to cry.  (Giving in for a tear or two.)  Fighting the battle going on in my head.  I wanted to just get out of the pool.  I REALLY wanted to go for a run.  (I told you I deal with stress by exercising.) 

I've lost count of the number of times during the past 5 months that I've wanted to quit.  But I've been so glad that I didn't quit.  I started out dreading swimming night.  Now I look forward to it. 

Remembering all those previous urges to quit, was the only thing keeping me in the pool.  The stubborn athlete in me wouldn't allow me to disregard all my previous hard earned victories, only to get out of the pool now.

>>> FAST FORWARD 1/2 an hour >>>

I did it.  I figured out how to do it.  How to put my head under the water without inhaling water.  

NOT EVEN 30 seconds after successfully accomplishing my task, God said:

"There, I knew you could do it.  Here's your nose plug back."

And my nose plug was found at the bottom of the pool in another lane.  Seriously.

*********************************************************************

The moral of the story:

Good question.  I was asking myself this as I drove home.   Why???  Why would God care about whether or not I can swim without nose plugs??? It's awful nice of Him to take an interest in this unimportant little goal I've been working on. But why?  And was God even  in on it?  I believe so.  A couple of reasons.  1- It was set up perfectly.  Had I lost it later on in the swim, I WOULD have just called it a day.  But because it was at the beginning, I didn't want to just get out of the pool.  2- The ironic timing at the end.  It was instant.  3- I learned some things from it, and I just feel it.

As I puzzled over the "why" of all this, my thoughts returned to the struggle I had left at home.  I thought about sharing my experience with my daughter.  Thinking about how I could teach her about how God loves us.  But as my thoughts continued to wander, I realized I really had learned so much more.   

Every day, I have to encourage my child to do hard things.  Help her fight battles and face fears.  Watch fears and uncertainty fill her eyes and stream down her little face.  Sometimes I worry that she must see me as such a "mean" person.  A person who seems to want nothing more than to make life uncomfortable and hard.

Getting your children do hard things isn't just part of the job, it IS the job.  

- Learning to walk - learning to use a toilet - learning to share -
-learning to not pummel people who make you angry -
-learning to read - learning to clean -
-learning how to take care of yourself-

ALL of those things are hard to do.  Yet unarguably necessary.  So despite the discomfort, pain and tears along the way, we fight the good fight and get them to do all these things.  It's what we are supposed to do. 

God let me lose my nose piece, cause He knew I didn't need it.  He knew it would be hard.  He knew it would hurt.  (Nose is still burning.)  I'm also pretty sure He knew me well enough to know that I would get upset, frustrated and cranky during the process.  But He knew I could do it.  And He knew it would be worth it. 

We face her fears, because I know she can.  Because I know that in the end, just like learning to walk and read and clean, her every day life will be so much better for it. 

HOWEVER - as all these thoughts and understanding compiled and articulated in the confines of my own little head, my thoughts were also drawn back to my moments hanging on the edge of the pool.  The hardest moments.  The moments when I needed to stop working and fighting, for just a minute.  The moments I needed to breath and let my thoughts go.  The moments I needed to get my head back in the game.  The moments I needed to build up my resolve.

I realized, that while I do need to help help her do hard things, I need to not forget, to let her hang on the wall of the pool.  Let her stop.  Let her breath.  Let her have moments.