Agree to disagree.
and
Live and let live.
and
Knock yourself out. (I don't care what you do.)
I didn't care whatsoever that my friend had the opinion she did. Doesn't bother me. She has a right to have an opinion. As do I.
As the days went by, I found my thoughts wandering back to this article. Pondering. Articulating the why. Why exactly did I disagree? Why do I believe what I do? This is something I do often. What I do NOT do often is declare what I believe. I try to avoid, "stirring the pot," "making waves," or "rocking the boat." Why go around purposely making statements that might ruffle other peoples feathers. I got better things to do with my time.
But for reasons that would take a long time to explain, (and I've got a strict -keep it short as possible- policy with this blog) I've decided to step out of my comfort zone, set aside any pots, waves, or boats, and blog about my "why" on this particular subject.
To set the foundation I've included some quotes.
The point is, I place motherhood on a very high pedestal. If you do not, then my explanation that follows is kind of mute.
DISCLAIMER: This is NOT doctrine. This is merely why the doctrine makes sense to me.
Suppose for a moment, what it would mean if there was no priesthood. Yet women were still afforded the honor, privilege, opportunity and awesome responsibility of motherhood. Leaving man with the responsibility to see that there was food in cupboards and a roofs over heads. While both are necessary, I feel the level of influence in the world would leave the scale looking something like this:
The priesthood is a means by which a man can bless and influence his family beyond just providing for their temporal needs.
The doctrine that only worthy males can hold the priesthood makes sense to me, because I feel that if women too held the priesthood, it would upset this natural balance.
Something else I feel is very important to mention.
BOTH of these roles are SHARED.
Fathers are afforded countless opportunities to also take part in the joy and blessings that come from a mother's daily tasks such as, kissing owies, teaching lessons, and changing diapers. These blessings are not denied a man, they are just simply not his inherent focus.
Mothers are afforded countless opportunities to also take part in the joy and blessings that come from the priesthood. We receive blessings of healing, take the sacrament, make temple covenants. These blessings are not denied a women.
Now, back to the article that spurred on my ponderings and thoughts.
Some women feel that equality would be better served by allowing women to attend General Priesthood Meeting. My view on that particular facet of this issue: women hold conferences and meetings of their own to learn, grow, be enlightened and to support and buoy each other up in the things we have in common. Why aren't men allowed to do the same thing? It's not like they've out to hide anything or keep anything from us. The entire session word for word is printed in the Ensign 1 month later. Why do you need to intrude upon their time together?
In conclusion, I talked a lot about men as fathers and women as mothers. "What about women who don't get to be mothers?" "What about fathers who have to raise children without a mother?" "What about the fact that some women don't appear to exhibit these wonderful 'maternal' qualities?" "What about fathers who exhibit 'maternal' qualities." We could argue and reason for hours and hours the "what abouts." I'm not here to debate the issue. All I set out to do, was put into words, why this particular issue makes sense to me, and why I can't say that I agree with the feminist in that article.
Very well written article. I especially love how you are so accepting of others having different opinions than you. That being said I do want to point out a couple things. First, the male equivalent to motherhood is in fact, fatherhood, not the priesthood. The problem with the depiction of the scales above that are brought into balance only when the man has the priesthood is that it fails to account for the fact that not all woman are mothers (which you admittedly do mention further down). If we define woman and their worth by the role of motherhood, we do them a great disservice. Both men and women's worth comes from who they are as children of God, not by the roles they play, as these vary according to circumstances. In the above scale analogy, men then become superior when motherhood is taken out of the picture, since they still have the priesthood. Moreover suggesting that men need the priesthood just to be equal with women, suggests that without it, they are somehow lesser.
ReplyDeleteSecond, you state that while men take part in "mother's daily tasks" they are not his primary focus. Consider for a moment God our father, and God our mother (Heavenly Mother). God is the ultimate example of what we should be and what fatherhood is. Do you believe he considers His job only to provide for us (give us blessings when we need), yet will leave all the loving, teaching, and comforting primarily to Heavenly Mother? Of course not! As a father, I love my children and take fatherhood and the role of rearing my children and loving them to be my "inherent focus." Nothing is more important.
I'm not saying that asking for priesthood is the right thing to do, nor that petitioning to attend a male meeting is the right way to do it. I agree'd with you whole heartedly that meetings specific to each sex can be beneficial. I simply want to point out that we should be careful that our worth is not defined by the roles we play. Men are not the priesthood, they simply hold it.
Bradly,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and my feelings on my blog. I appreciate knowing the thoughts of my readers.
When I write, I keep it as short as I possibly can. Cause I myself, don't take the time to read “long” blogs. This however sometimes sacrifices other thoughts and details. So thank you for taking the time to respond and giving me the opportunity to expound.
Yes, the male equivalent to motherhood is in fact, fatherhood. I believe, that if a father is living up to his full potential, he will in fact hold the priesthood. This could be a highly arguable statement for anyone who does not have a testimony the priesthood, what it is, or what it's for. I'm okay with that. That is what I believe, anyone else has a right to believe otherwise.
One of the things that I opted not to address in the interest of length was the fact that some women are not afforded the opportunity to be a mother. This unfortunately left all sorts of holes in my descriptions of what I think and feel. So I'll try to fill some of those in.
I do not believe that the scale is tipped when a women is not afforded the opportunity to be a mother. I feel that part of what makes a mother, a mother, is the way mothers are entirely self sacrificing and exhibit amazing unconditional love. If a women without children of her own, truly devotes her heart to selfless sacrifice and service for others and truly loves others without condition, then she herself is being a “mother” to others who so desperately need what she can give. The women who raise us do not get to stay by our side. We grow up, we move away. When life's trials heap upon us, and our own mothers are far away, it is the mothering care and love of others that can help get us through.
A mother does not stop being a mother when her children have grown and gone. Her divine motherly instincts, tendencies, and attributes are utilized on those who are around her. The only reason for the scale to tip, has nothing to do with how much she is worth. It is because a women is not living up to her divine potential and capacities.
You talked about our Heavenly Parents. I do not believe He considers His job only to provide for us and leaves all the loving, teaching, and comforting primarily to Her. I am sorry that this is the message you got from it. My comment on “inherent focus” was merely in reference to the concept that I don't think a father can “focus” on “teaching” and “comforting” and owies, and diapers, and other aspects of nurturing, while he is performing surgery, or programing computers, or unclogging drains, or building houses, or plowing fields, or whatever it is he does to provide. He puts his trust in the hands of another to do these things while he labors. This does NOT mean he loves his children any less. His labor and time away from his family is in and of itself a sacrifice of love and a display of his devotion.
Besides, I put in large bold letters that these rolls are SHARED. This was an attempt at conveying that I do realize fathers take part in teaching and comforting and yes even diapers.
Again I want to genuinely thank you for sharing your thoughts. If you are interested I would like to hear more of them and continue our conversation as it were. What is your “why.” Why do you believe what you do? Why is women asking for the priesthood not the right thing to do? Why does it make sense to you? I am sincerely interested. Not for the sake of arguing our differences of opinion, but for the sake of broadening my understanding with other thoughts, points, and ideas.