Finding Our Starfish

I can't explain it other than this:

My heart loves someone I can not see.  

Faith is trusting what you can not guarantee.  

We are taking steps toward finding our starfish.  

We are going to find our Starfish.  We are going to become foster parents.  

We are just at the beginning of this journey, and it has already taught me things and helped me understand things in a new light.

The first thing I've learned: 

We were excited.

We pondered and prayed about this decision for a long time.  There are so many unknowns on this path.  So much of this "map" is blank.  We can try our best to "prepare," but really we have no idea what to expect.  Fear of the "unknown" has been a stumbling block for us.  

At first, that fear kept us from commitment.  For a long time it was "something we are thinking about," then "something we are looking into."  But eventually, we decided, this is something we are going to do.  This IS a path we are going to take.  

Some time after we made that decision, I had a moment where I felt . . . . excited about what lied ahead for us.  Which started this train of thought for me:

"What?  Excited?  Why am I excited?  This is going to be hard.  So much work.  So hard.  Challenges, heartache and pain that we can only imagine.  I would be crazy to be excited for that."  

Then I had the thought:

"That's what it was like in heaven. - We were excited.  We knew life on earth would be hard.  We knew that coming to earth meant challenges, heartache and pain.  Yet we were so excited to come. . ."  

It was just a realization I had never thought about before.
However it leads me to the question, "WHY?"  Why the excitement despite the challenges?  I'll admit, I'm not sure I really know.  The only answer I can come up with is maybe because of the potential for joy.  

Another thing I've learned was:

God prepared, and gave, despite impending heartache.

Foster parents must be licenced.  Becoming licenced means things like taking classes, background checks, home inspections, medical checkups, references, interviews.  Our "To-Do-List" has felt HUGE.  So much preparation.  So much effort, work, and love.  As I got ready to spend the day working so hard, to prepare our home, I had another train of thought run through my mind:

"All this work.  For children who could break our hearts. -

That's kind of like what God did. - He created and prepared our earthly home.  Knowing full well, that the children for whom this home was created, would have their agency.  And with that agency, some would not choose Him."

And so we too, continue to move forward despite the uncertainties.  We are excited and nervous for this new stepping stone in our life.  We are very thankful for our families that have been supportive of this decision.